Leopards Don't Change Their Spots...

My biggest problem… I care too much!

Ever been in a situation where you really really really want to look out for good 'ole #1, but you just find yourself too worried about everyone else and how it will affect them that your mind just will not let you make the selfish decision to treat yourself at the expense of others?  Well that was the story of my life until about 6 months ago.  I have always tried to do what was best for everyone around me because I knew it brought me true happiness to see others around me happy.  Whether it was breaking personal plans to help out family in need, or driving on 10 hour road trips to see someone I cared about for an hour, or just sacrificing sleep to stay up and listen to a friend vent.  Either way, I was always the guy everyone could count on.  Did it seem like I was being taken advantage of sometimes? Sure.  Did it feel like I was taken for granted often? Shit, almost always.  Did it matter to me?  Never.  Regardless of what happened, I would always do whatever I could to make someone else happy.  That is until one day when I decided to make a change….

After a sour end to my last relationship, something in me seemed to snap.  That whole IDGAS attitude I take on most things in life elevated to IDGAF (figure it outtttt people).  For whatever reason, my warm heart turned cold.  I started lashing out, thinking about myself first and making decisions that left a lot of people scratching their heads like wtf is he doing?  I pissed a lot of people off and hurt a lot of feelings.  But for what?  Was this some built up selfishness that had finally boiled over and forced me into recklessness?  Was it the real me?  Was it someone else that needed to rear his ugly head as a result of 24 years of being everyone's crutch?  I wasn't sure…until yesterday when I decided to brush that guy away.

I was taking a lunch stroll, which I don’t often do since I tend to work through my lunch at my job to avoid staying late, when I find an old acquaintance of mine.  A former friend who was still very much in touch with my old circle of college friends who basically filled me in on what everyone was up to.  As she was telling me what everyone was doing, I wanted to feel some kind of anger, or haste towards them for the way things ended.  However, I found myself strangely wishing the best for them.  I am not sure if it was one of those moments where you realize you are actually growing up, or if it was just the REAL Mr. BetMore making his long awaited resurrection.  I believe it was the latter.  Nevertheless, I realized that when it all comes down to it, "we are who we are" (Ke$ha voice)  I know it sounds corny, but its true.  At the end of the day, I am always going to be the guy who cares about everyone else more than himself and will do whatever he can to make others happy even if he sacrifices himself a little bit, because that’s who I am.  That being said…

I am really looking forward to getting back to the old me.  Fun loving, easy going, living it up, Ja Rule style.  My high school baseball team had a saying, "W.I.T.D"  Whatever it takes, Dude, and that’s how its gonna be.  Whatever it takes to be the best.

I leave you with one thought.  Are you waiting for something to change?  Is something dangling in front of you that you really want, and have the ability to get it?  STOP DREAMING.  People say that you should "be the change you want to see in the world".  Screw that saying.  That's too damn deep.  It's quite simple really.  Be honest with yourself.  If you think you can do something, you probably can.  If you wait around, your ability to do it will diminish.  Life is too short and you never know what can happen.  MAKE SHIT HAPPEN!

Back tonight with me fantasy suggestions for the weekend and "3 Saturday Scorchers" with 3 college football games that I feel strongly about.

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